The road to heaven or hell

People always agree on the following: believing in what you want will get you closer to that. Those people, in my opinion, never met with the harsh reality. After waking up the world doesn't seem so friendly and optimistic anymore.
At times it even seems that dreams bring nothing more than dissatisfaction and misery.

The more you want something the more challenges come in your way. And do all those challenges simply mean that we should be wanting harder or that we better give up?

When in life we face a trouble, is it just another challenge on the way to the desired?
And if so, how many challenges we are supposed to have to make sure the dream is worth it?

How do you know if the dream is written in your destiny or if you should stop dreaming?

Shakespeare in love

Those lines that I before have writ do lie, 

Even those that said I could not love you dearer:

Yet then my judgement know no reason why

My most full flame should afterwards burn clearer. 

Marriage or what to expect

Marriage..

What is the hidden meaning lying behind it? What is the point of spending your life with one person? What drives people to the marriage?

With the whole world settling around me, I start to think about the reasons why they are so afraid of being alone. Are people simply frightened to stay alone for the rest of the life? Or there are some other reasons like social expectations involved?

I am not 100% sure if a 20 year old can be looking for an eternity with someone they've just met. 

Moreover I dont think that any of them would care so much about the social expectations and standards which are usually more frightening for 30 year olds..

Then what drives us young and fresh in our 20 s to follow the road of the eternity?

Do we marry for all the wrong reasons or for true love?

Destined or responsible?

Sometimes at nights I cannot fall asleep for one simple reason. I think.
I think more and more about the meaning of my life and people coming into my life, their purpose.
And the thought that doesnt let me sleep at times: is everything thats happening is predestined?
Is there a certain life plan to follow with a list of people-to-do and things-to-do?
My good friend has told me once that everything happening is just my own responsibility.
Am I or the destiny responsible for people and things coming to my life? And then if its only me who can take care of this mess, can I change it in one day?
What is the best way to your dreams: dreaming or being fully awake to work?

Older

This May made me wiser. I would not say older, for several reasons, one of which is that I am officially older now. Wiser in this case means more experienced in the questions of living and loving.

I am looking over at my lonely room and thinking of the times when it was not so empty and when my days were much lighter. I have been lighter.

There are some things that might kill the best feelings even in the optimist, which I used to be. Strangely, I used to play the main part of my life, having all my dreams right before me. Then came an alteration which made me more of a slave.

This year I have also noticed one thing: every year right before my birthday I fall apart, mentally and physically. I start seeing nightmares. I lack trust for people. I lack the desire of being light and easy-going.

This year I have finally understood what the real love is. It is the love for myself, which under no conditions can be replaced with the love of someone for me.  With a little love for yourself you can see life from another angle. It might even surprise you. And after all I am assured that only if you love yourself enough will another person fall in love with you the same way.

This year taught me not to react. Not to react to what other people think, first of all. Not to react on what someone wants from you. Its not exactly freedom, its liberty.
I have learned to listen to my heart and pass my feelings to others. 
I have learned to give people more waiting for the universe to give me back all love I had given.

This year I realised that the most important thing in life is family. And no family can exist without children. Children are those who fill my heart and to whom I hope to give myself the next year.

And yet there is another thing I have not mentioned yet. No matter what happens in life, I would have never managed that without my family and my friends and the mutual love which keeps me strong and alive.