long-distance calls

She had another cup of coffee. Her wide blue eyes kept on staring out of the frozen window, her cold fingers typing fast the thoughts crossing her mind. Her ear was gradually getting hot from the phone she kept on holding for hours. A talk with an ex persuading her to come back and start all over again. The errant thought: why? What for?
He seemed to want the sex only, “just like all men”, she thought. But did he really want to get back to her or was he playing with her feelings once again, like he used to do, like he liked to do that? There was no right answer for that question.

The conversation went on. He kept on being hard on her, saying: just say yes and I will come…or maybe you already have someone else? Tell me straight. Are you afraid of telling me that? You should not be afraid. Just tell me.

She thought he was too persistent and that even flattered her: he wants me, he wants me so much that he now plays my game. I’ll play with him.

Would that matter to you if I was? Would that matter if I said that I was married or divorced?

I would not bother a married woman. It’s a taboo.

Okay, so what if I told you that I was seeing someone? (her voice turning soft and velvet, she already knew that it was simply her tone that was driving him crazy, wanting her even more now, that even entertained her)

You made me curious. That “what if” made me interested. I even started thinking about that possibility. You know, previously I was thinking you were actually dating someone else because you seemed to be too reserved and cool with me lately. It was just a suspicion that you were with someone, not necessarily a “must”.

(Laughing) You men always look for the simplest explanations! Another man is never a reason, it’s always a consequence.

She now knew he was about to burst out. That made her feel powerful She was indeed powerful. Being a woman, she thought was the best role she could ever think of on that playground where men make up their own rules and think they lead the game fooling themselves and thus taking that thought too seriously giving up too quickly being too weak.
Did he want to simply put her in his foolish made up frames of female conduct? Did he want to say that he is a host and she is just a guest taking a chair in the corner? Is she a servant? Is she a side player to him? Or is that only about him? Is he simply afraid of her taking her power back?

That thought made him hurry in a yet another vain attempt to get her back to his prison, to his prison called “relationship” where she was a meaningless part of someone who needed nothing but a decoration or an entertainment, rather than a person with problems and concerns. That thought slapped her fiercely on face and made her collect the thoughts and emotions and say: I am not sure. I will think about it. I have to go now, I have another call…